Gugur bunga menghantar kikisan rindu hati (cerpen)

Aku masih disini...

Menghitung waktu menatap sepi...

Tak pernah kutahu kapan ini akan berakhir...

Setitik  harap mengukir bahagia

Gugur bunga, menghantar kikisan rindu hati...

Tak teralih dari bangku ini, aku masih ditempat yang sama. Berbayang impian yang kuharap akan menjadi nyata. Kugadahkan kepala ini menatap langit di atas, mencoba wujudkan impian di awang. Lamunanku terbuyar ketika aku mendapati seseorang membuka pintu kelas, berjalan lalu menyalakan keran dan membasahi tangannya dengan percikan air yang ragu keluar.

Pikiranku kembali teralihkan. Sejenak aku memandang kelas sebelah, berharap seseorang membuka pintu dan menyapaku dengan hangat, memberikan tatapan teduh yang dulu selalu kudapatkan. Namun aku merasa khayalanku terlalu tinggi. Dia memang masih orang yang sama, namun mungkin hatinya kini tlah beda. Hatinya kini dimiliki seseorang yang tak pernah kuduga, seakan-akan bagai hantu yang menyelinap masuk kedalam hatinya tanpa sepengetahuanku. Aku memang salah dulu aku lengah, tak peka terhadap semua yang dia berikan. Hingga kini aku kembali mengenal apa itu penyesalan.

“Kringgg...” tak terasa dua jam kosong pelajaran sudah aku lewati dengan melamun di depan kelas. Bel pulang pun sudah dibunyikan, bertanda pelajaran hari ini sudah selesai. Bergegas aku masuk kedalam kelas, berberes barang dan mengambil tas. Usai semua masuk ke dalam ransel ini, sengaja aku percepat langkah keluar.

“oke, siap berpatroli..haha” batinku, mata ini pun lekas mencarinya. Dan akhirnya aku pun menemukannya sedang berbincang canda dengan temannya di di sudut pintu kelasnya. Dengan segera aku berlari ke kelas Rei.

“Rei....!!! coba kau lihat disana,!!” sembari aku menunjuk arah kelas dekat tangga.

“Memangnya ada apa?” tanyanya.

“Itu..!” aku berbisik pada Rei.

Dia pun tersenyum, mengerti apa yang kumaksud. Setelah puas aku memandanginya, aku dan Rei pun melangkahkan kaki untuk pulang. Arah rumah kami memang sama, karena kami tinggal serumah. Tapi dalam perjalanan pulang pun aku masih belum rela mengalihkan fikiranku dari dia. Rasanya masih ingin aku menunggu. Menanti dia lewat untuk pulang ke rumahnya.

            Akhirnya aku dan Rei memutuskan untuk berhenti sejenak dibawah pohon besar disamping sekolah kami.

“Yes, siapa tau dia lewat..!” cekikikku dalam hati.

Kusandarkan tubuh ini pada batang yang besar. Menghirup segala hembusan udara segar yang ada. Kini aku mulai terkontaminasi kembali bersama semua impian khayalku. 

“ Aku memang bukanlah oksigen yang dapat membuatmu mati tanpaku,

Aku memang bukanlah udara yang setiap saat kau butuhkan untuk kau hirup,

Aku hanyalah partikel kecil yang berusaha masuk ke dalam dirimu,

Melawan bepuluh bahkan beratus partikel yang terdapat dalam setiap jengkahan nafasmu,

Melawan tiupan angin yang akan menerbangkanku ke sisi lain,

Aku hanya ingin membuatmu sadar,

Akulah yang selama ini menyertai setiap langkahmu dalam rapalan,

Walau ku diam, percayalah hatiku tak pernah membungkam,

Aku bertahan,”

Entah mengapa argumen-argumen gila berkeliaran ria di otakku, hingga membuat Rei terheran karena aku seyum-senyum sendiri tanpa sebab, namun aku hanya menanggapi setiap ocehan Rei dengan senyuman hingga meyakinkan dia kalau aku benar-benar gila dengan obsesi khayalku. Namun andai Rei tahu, bahwa aku sedang menikmati aliran kesetian dalam hati. Memahami setiap tetes, sebelum aliran itu terhenti pada sebuah batas penantian.

            Aku kembali menatap lurus, hembusan angin yang begitu sepoi, mengalahkan teriknya matahari siang ini. Menggugurkan helai bunga yang menua, jatuh tepat di atas telapak tanganku.

“bunga, bantu aku..

Bantu aku dekat dengannya..

Kuselipkan kikisan rindu padamu..

Tolong sampaikan untuknya..” bisikku dalam hati pada helai bunga yang jatuh tadi dan kubiarkan bunga itu terbang tersapu angin. Kontaminasi khayalanku terbuyar, ketika aku melihat dia benar lewat di depanku, rasanya seperti mimpi. Setiap bertemu aku ingin sekali bertegur sapa dengannya, namun entah mengapa lidah ini selalu kelu untuk berkata. Terkadang aku ingin memarahi diri ini, karena tak berkutik di hadapannya.

            Mataku masih memandanginya berjalan, tak tau mengapa tiba-tiba hati ini ikut bahagia melihatnya tersenyum. Aku baru tesadar ketika aku melihat pundaknya yang tegap terdapat serpihan bunga yang menempat. Aku pun tersenyum, dan berkata “Tuhan memang adil..!”. 


karya : @intanwe

Tentangmu (cerpen)

Tanganku masih menggoreskan pena tentangmu. Pikiranku masih terpacu dengan bayangan semumu. Semu yang menarikku masuk ke dalam dunia yang tak pernah kumiliki, namun kini abadi bersama imajinasiku. Mungkin tak nampak dalam nyata tapi hidup dalam angan. Mengenangmu adalah hal teregois yang aku lakukan. Karena kutahu hatimu tak untukku, namun aku selalu paksakan itu dalam duniaku sendiri. Masih menuliskan pena ini pada catatan kecil milikku, catatan tentangmu, aku yang tak pernah menyatu.

“aku memang tak pernah memilikimu dalam nyata, hingga saat ini...

namun, aku abadi memilikimu dalam duniaku sendiri...”

                Kamu kini menjadi tokoh utama dalam duniaku, dunia yang tak pernah kau tahu. Karna kau tak pernah lagi masuk ke dalam dunia yang kau ciptakan sendiri. Namun tak apa, cukup memandang dan mengagumi diantara mereka, dan bertahan itu cukup berkesan untukku. Dulu adalah masa lalu, sekarang adalah nyata dan esok adalah garis-Nya. Aku memang tak pernah tau apa yang terjadi esok, namun aku mencoba menikmati apa yang akan ku miliki esok. Entah bahagia atau pun duka, bukankah mereka selalu datang bersama?.

                Aku tahu kamu pernah merasa terkhianati. Bukan karna aku mengarang, namun aku cukup mengerti kisahmu bagian itu. Kamu merasa terkhianati atas seseorang yang kamu cintai. Dan itu cukup jelas terlihat. Mungkin saja dia cinta pertamamu. Namun aku masih ragu tentang cinta pertamamu akankah benar dia? Entahlah, aku tak pernah tahu karna kamu selalu menyimpan rapat dalam hatimu. Aku tak pernah membenci orang yang kamu cintai, bahkan aku berusaha berteman baik dengannya. Bukan untuk merusak hubunganmu, tapi aku ingin tahu sehangat apakah orang itu. Hingga mampu mencairkan hatimu yang beku.

                Sejak itu kamu berubah hatimu tak lagi stabil, bahkan menjadi didih. Kamu mencoba mencari pendingin untuk hatimu. Mungkin itu yang disebut pelampiasan, aku mempelajarinya dari semua skenario kisahmu yang aku tahu. Dan ternyata itu benar. Setidaknya dulu aku pernah berfikir, “mungkinkah sosok pelarian menjadi cinta sejati?” aku tak tahu mengapa argumen itu seketika muncul di otakku saat hubunganmu dengan pelarianmu menginjak cukup lama. Tapi, dugaanku sebelumnya memang benar. Kamu berakhir dengannya. Mungkin kamu mulai menyadari.

                   Kisahmu masih tersimpan rapih di dalam memoriku. Semua skenario hidupmu yang aku ketahui semenjak aku kenal denganmu, semenjak aku tahu ada yang tidak beres dengan hatiku ketika kau menatap mataku. Mungkin sejak saat itu aku sadar bahwa aku mulai mengagumimu, mengagumi setiap detail dari dirimu, mencintai setiap kekuranganmu, mencoba memahami setiap makna hidup bagimu. Apa itu suka?namun mengapa aku bis bertahan lama?apakah itu cinta?atau sayang? Aku mengira masih terlalu kanak-kanak. Apa ini cinta monyet? Tapi, mengapa aku merasa sejauh ini. Aku mencoba melupakan segala argumen mereka tentangku, tepatnya perasaanku padanya. Aku hanya ingin menjadi seperti sungai, menikmati setiap tetesan air yang sedang mengalir, menunggu hingga air itu sampai pada hulu atau pun sungai itu sampai benar-benar kering, dan ada seseorang yang merubah menjadi tempat baru.


karya : @intanwe

Retelling Story

 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST


There was once a merchant that had three daughters, and he loved them better than himself. Now it happened that he had to go a long journey to buy some goods, and when he was just starting he said to them, "What shall I bring you back, my dears?"
And the eldest daughter asked to have a necklace; and the second daughter wished to have a gold chain; but the youngest daughter said, "Bring back yourself, papa, and that is what I want the most."
"Nonsense, child," said her father, "you must say something that I may remember to bring back for you."
"So," she said, "then bring me back a rose, father."
Well, the merchant went on his journey and did his business and bought a pearl necklace for his eldest daughter, and a gold chain for his second daughter; but he knew it was no use getting a rose for the youngest while he was so far away because it would fade before he got home. So he made up his mind he would get a rose for her the day he got near his house.
When all his merchanting was done he rode off home and forgot all about the rose till he was near his house; then he suddenly remembered what he had promised his youngest daughter, and looked about to see if he could find a rose. Near where he had stopped he saw a great garden, and getting off his horse he wandered about in it till he found a lovely rosebush; and he plucked the most beautiful rose he could see on it. At that moment he heard a crash like thunder, and looking around he saw a huge monster -- two tusks in his mouth and fiery eyes surrounded by bristles, and horns coming out of its head and spreading over its back.
"Mortal," said the beast, "who told you you might pluck my roses?"
"Please, sir," said the merchant in fear and terror for his life, "I promised my daughter to bring her home a rose and forgot about it till the last moment, and then I saw your beautiful garden and thought you would not miss a single rose, or else I would have asked your permission."
"Thieving is thieving," said the beast, "whether it be a rose or a diamond; your life is forfeit."
The merchant fell on his knees and begged for his life for the sake of his three daughters who had none but him to support them.
"Well, mortal, well," said the beast, "I grant your life on one condition: Seven days from now you must bring this youngest daughter of yours, for whose sake you have broken into my garden, and leave her here in your stead. Otherwise swear that you will return and place yourself at my disposal."
So the merchant swore, and taking his rose mounted his horse and rode home.
As soon as he got into his house his daughters came rushing round him, clapping their hands and showing their joy in every way, and soon he gave the necklace to his eldest daughter, the chain to his second daughter, and then he gave the rose to his youngest, and as he gave it he sighed.
"Oh, thank you, father," they all cried.
But the youngest said, "Why did you sigh so deeply when you gave me my rose?"
"Later on I will tell you," said the merchant.
So for several days they lived happily together, though the merchant wandered about gloomy and sad, and nothing his daughters could do would cheer him up till at last he took his youngest daughter aside and said to her, "Bella, do you love your father?"
"Of course I do, father, of course I do."
"Well, now you have a chance of showing it"; and then he told her of all that had occurred with the beast when he got the rose for her. Bella was very sad, as you can well think, and then she said, "Oh, father, it was all on account of me that you fell into the power of this beast; so I will go with you to him; perhaps he will do me no harm; but even if he does -- better harm to me than evil to my dear father."
So next day the merchant took Bella behind him on his horse, as was the custom in those days, and rode off to the dwelling of the beast. And when he got there and they alighted from his horse the doors of the house opened, and what do you think they saw there! Nothing. So they went up the steps and went through the hall, and went into the dining room, and there they saw a table spread with all manner of beautiful glasses and plates and dishes and napery, with plenty to eat upon it. So they waited and they waited, thinking that the owner of the house would appear, till at last the merchant said, "Let's sit down and see what will happen then." And when they sat down invisible hands passed them things to eat and to drink, and they ate and drank to their heart's content. And when they arose from the table it arose too and disappeared through the door as if it were being carried by invisible servants.
Suddenly there appeared before them the beast who said to the merchant, "Is this your youngest daughter?"
And when he had said that it was, he said, "Is she willing to stop here with me?"
And then he looked at Bella who said, in a trembling voice, "Yes, sir."
"Well, no harm shall befall you." With that he led the merchant down to his horse and told him he might come that day each week to visit his daughter. Then the beast returned to Bella and said to her, "This house with all that therein is is yours; if you desire aught, clap your hands and say the word and it shall be brought unto you." And with that he made a sort of bow and went away.
So Bella lived on in the home with the beast and was waited on by invisible servants and had whatever she liked to eat and to drink; but she soon got tired of the solitude and, next day, when the beast came to her, though he looked so terrible, she had been so well treated that she had lost a great deal of her terror of him. So they spoke together about the garden and about the house and about her father's business and about all manner of things, so that Bella lost altogether her fear of the beast. Shortly afterwards her father came to see her and found her quite happy, and he felt much less dread of her fate at the hands of the beast.
So it went on for many days, Bella seeing and talking to the beast every day, till she got quite to like him, until one day the beast did not come at his usual time, just after the midday meal, and Bella quite missed him. So she wandered about the garden trying to find him, calling out his name, but received no reply. At last she came to the rosebush from which her father had plucked the rose, and there, under it, what do you think she saw! There was the beast lying huddled up without any life or motion. Then Bella was sorry indeed and remembered all the kindness that the beast had shown her; and she threw herself down by it and said, "Oh, Beast, Beast, why did you die? I was getting to love you so much."
No sooner had she said this than the hide of the beast split in two and out came the most handsome young prince who told her that he had been enchanted by a magician and that he could not recover his natural form unless a maiden should, of her own accord, declare that she loved him.
Thereupon the prince sent for the merchant and his daughters, and he was married to Bella, and they all lived happy together ever afterwards. 

The Summer and Winter Garden

A merchant was planning to go to a fair, so he asked his three daughters what he should bring back for them.
The oldest one said, "A beautiful dress."
The second, "A pair of pretty shoes."
The third, "A rose."
To find a rose would be difficult, for it was the middle of winter, but because the youngest daughter was the most beautiful, and because she took great pleasure in flowers, the father said that he would do his best to find her one.
The merchant was now on his homeward trip. He had a splendid dress for the oldest daughter, a pair of beautiful shoes for the second one, but he had not been able to get a rose for the third one. Whenever he had entered a garden looking for roses, the people just laughed at him, asking him if he believed that roses grew in the snow. He was very sad about this, and as he was thinking about what he might bring his dearest child, he came to a castle. It had an adjoining garden where it was half summer and half winter. On the one side the most beautiful flowers were blossoming -- large and small. On the other side everything was bare and covered with deep snow.
The man climbed from his horse. He was overjoyed to see an entire hedge full of roses on the summer side. He approached it, picked one of them, and then rode off.
He had already ridden some distance when he heard something running and panting behind him. Turning around, he saw a large black beast, that called out, "Give me back my rose, or I'll kill you! Give me back my rose, or I'll kill you!"
The man said, "Please let me have the rose. I am supposed to bring one home for my daughter, the most beautiful daughter in the world."
"For all I care, but then give me your beautiful daughter for a wife!"
In order to get rid of the beast, the man said yes, thinking that he would not come to claim her.
However, the beast shouted back to him, "In eight days I will come and get my bride."
So the merchant brought each daughter what she had wanted, and each one was delighted, especially the youngest with her rose.
Eight days later the three sisters were sitting together at the table when something came stepping heavily up the stairs to the door. "Open up! Open up!" it shouted.
They opened the door, and were terrified when a large black beast stepped inside. "Because my bride did not come to me, and the time is up, I will fetch her myself." With that he went to the youngest daughter and grabbed hold of her. She began to scream, but it did not help. She had to go away with him. And when the father came home, his dearest child had been taken away.
The black beast carried the beautiful maiden to his castle where everything was beautiful and wonderful. Musicians were playing there, and below there was the garden, half summer and half winter, and the beast did everything to make her happy, fulfilling even her unspoken desires. They ate together, and she had to scoop up his food for him, for otherwise he would not have eaten. She was dear to the beast, and finally she grew very fond of him.
One day she said to him, "I am afraid, and don't know why. It seems to me that my father or one of my sisters is sick. Couldn't I see them just once?"
So the beast led her to a mirror and said, "Look inside."
She looked into the mirror, and it was as though she were at home. She saw her living room and her father. He really was sick, from a broken heart, because he held himself guilty that his dearest child had been taken away by a wild beast and surely had been eaten up. If he could know how well off she was, then he would not be so sad. She also saw her two sisters sitting on the bed and crying.
Her heart was heavy because of all this, and she asked the beast to allow her to go home for a few days. The beast refused for a long time, but she grieved so much that he finally had pity on her and said, "Go to your father, but promise me that you will be back here in eight days."
She promised, and as she was leaving, he called out again, "Do not stay longer than eight days."
When she arrived home her father was overjoyed to see her once again, but sickness and grief had already eaten away at his heart so much that he could not regain his health, and within a few days he died.
Because of her sadness, she could think of nothing else. Her father was buried, and she went to the funeral. The sisters cried together, and consoled one another, and when her thoughts finally turned to her dear beast, the eight days were long past.
She became frightened, and it seemed to her that he too was sick. She set forth immediately and returned to his castle. When she arrived there everything was still and sad inside. The musicians were not playing. Black cloth hung everywhere. The garden was entirely in winter and covered with snow. She looked for the beast, but he was not there. She looked everywhere, but could not find him.
Then she was doubly sad, and did not know how to console herself. She sadly went into the garden where she saw a pile of cabbage heads. They were old and rotten, and she pushed them aside. After turning over a few of them she saw her dear beast. He was lying beneath them and was dead.
She quickly fetched some water and poured it over him without stopping.
Then he jumped up and was instantly transformed into a handsome prince. They got married, and the musicians began to play again, and the summer side of the garden appeared in its splendor, and the black cloth was all ripped down, and together they lived happily ever after.

Little Red Riding Hood

Once upon a time there lived in a certain village a little country girl, the prettiest creature who was ever seen. Her mother was excessively fond of her; and her grandmother doted on her still more. This good woman had a little red riding hood made for her. It suited the girl so extremely well that everybody called her Little Red Riding Hood.

One day her mother, having made some cakes, said to her, "Go, my dear, and see how your grandmother is doing, for I hear she has been very ill. Take her a cake, and this little pot of butter."
Little Red Riding Hood set out immediately to go to her grandmother, who lived in another village.
As she was going through the wood, she met with a wolf, who had a very great mind to eat her up, but he dared not, because of some woodcutters working nearby in the forest. He asked her where she was going. The poor child, who did not know that it was dangerous to stay and talk to a wolf, said to him, "I am going to see my grandmother and carry her a cake and a little pot of butter from my mother."
"Does she live far off?" said the wolf
"Oh I say," answered Little Red Riding Hood; "it is beyond that mill you see there, at the first house in the village."
"Well," said the wolf, "and I'll go and see her too. I'll go this way and go you that, and we shall see who will be there first."
The wolf ran as fast as he could, taking the shortest path, and the little girl took a roundabout way, entertaining herself by gathering nuts, running after butterflies, and gathering bouquets of little flowers. It was not long before the wolf arrived at the old woman's house. He knocked at the door: tap, tap.
"Who's there?"
"Your grandchild, Little Red Riding Hood," replied the wolf, counterfeiting her voice; "who has brought you a cake and a little pot of butter sent you by mother."
The good grandmother, who was in bed, because she was somewhat ill, cried out, "Pull the bobbin, and the latch will go up."
The wolf pulled the bobbin, and the door opened, and then he immediately fell upon the good woman and ate her up in a moment, for it been more than three days since he had eaten. He then shut the door and got into the grandmother's bed, expecting Little Red Riding Hood, who came some time afterwards and knocked at the door: tap, tap.
"Who's there?"
Little Red Riding Hood, hearing the big voice of the wolf, was at first afraid; but believing her grandmother had a cold and was hoarse, answered, "It is your grandchild Little Red Riding Hood, who has brought you a cake and a little pot of butter mother sends you."
The wolf cried out to her, softening his voice as much as he could, "Pull the bobbin, and the latch will go up."
Little Red Riding Hood pulled the bobbin, and the door opened.
The wolf, seeing her come in, said to her, hiding himself under the bedclothes, "Put the cake and the little pot of butter upon the stool, and come get into bed with me."
Little Red Riding Hood took off her clothes and got into bed. She was greatly amazed to see how her grandmother looked in her nightclothes, and said to her, "Grandmother, what big arms you have!"
"All the better to hug you with, my dear."
"Grandmother, what big legs you have!"
"All the better to run with, my child."
"Grandmother, what big ears you have!"
"All the better to hear with, my child."
"Grandmother, what big eyes you have!"
"All the better to see with, my child."
"Grandmother, what big teeth you have got!"
"All the better to eat you up with."
And, saying these words, this wicked wolf fell upon Little Red Riding Hood, and ate her all up.

Moral: Children, especially attractive, well bred young ladies, should never talk to strangers, for if they should do so, they may well provide dinner for a wolf. I say "wolf," but there are various kinds of wolves. There are also those who are charming, quiet, polite, unassuming, complacent, and sweet, who pursue young women at home and in the streets. And unfortunately, it is these gentle wolves who are the most dangerous ones of all.

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